Homicidal tendancy coming to a head!!!!!!
I think it is time that I break down! I do not think that I have another moment left in me to be able to put on this bullshit front anymore!
So much for things becoming brighter, a little easier, or even remotly close to the way things should be.
I recieved a call from the man that was going to rent me the place today. He informed me that becouse it will take 6 weeks for the PRC (will explain this later) he is going to give me the check he does have from me back and he is going to rent to someone else. Great beginning of a great day huh?????? Homeless again!!!!!!!
I went to my daughters D.A.R.E. graduation last night and met the mayor of our city, if I can hold it together, he will be getting a call from me. Along with a few News channels and whoever else that will carry my voice. At this exact moment though all I want to do is climb in a little ball with a bottle of pills and rest! Or the alternative is...follow in the footsteps of others who have had enough, get the keys to my gun & visit a few folks.
After two months of being without a home for my family, and hours upon hours of contacti every known agency availible to get us back on our feet, trying to find a place tat we can afford, and not to mention the 4 times a week that I have to bo the the hospitial for my labs, treatments and such, I have come to the sad conclussion that I may end up in the end: a quiter! Something I have never been, but I just do not have anymore energy, patients, tolerance or anything anymore.
Oh, something else happened when I rushed into see my worker to see if we could get this PRC now, she asked me when I was going to tell her my husband was working! I informed her that he is working at Minute Man ($30.00 a day, yippeefuckingha) and that we were still seperated. She YELLED at me and told me that I never told her that. Lying bitch, I told her since October 2002 we had been on and off and I have 3 witnesses that were there with me each time it was said and they will back me. She proceeds to tell me that "obviously you have been overpaid and you will have to pay that back". WTF, the ONLY money I recieve from them is $162.00 for "my daughter" and I didn't even start recieving that untill 3 months ago. My spouse recieves no benefits, as it is, becouse we are homeless, I lost a HUGE amount of help with food. Now they want to take more money away becouse there may be a chance my husband and I may rconcile. Not much chance now, becouse all of this crap is going to blow someone up and neither one of us has the ability not to take it out on each other. I went last week to Social Security to try and get back to work and I was turned sown becouse the doctors will not release me to do so.
Sorry to disappoint anyone who was out there rooting for me, but this is OUR GREAT COUNTRY!!!!!!!! Spend billions to help other countries and leave our own to fend for themselves. Isent this a great way to deal with population control?!?!?