What a drag, I must leave the house I have stayed since Friday, nothing bad, just life has to go on for them and it is too much like a holiday for the kids when I am here. This also means that I will not have the access to the internet as I have...oh no! What will I do with myself? I know, I can pretend that I am on a pirate ship and the....no wait, reality is coming back...oh yeah, I have to find a place to go....now that's a drag. Too bad I couldn't treat this like an adventure. If I didn't...

When I was a teenager, I wrote this "book" thinking it was a tell all diary. In writting it, at the time, it become a "brag book". I say this because, than, everything I did came from a drug induced, rebelious, angry yet seemingly very happy, & lost , mantality. Also becouse if half of my friends knew even more than they did....I would be even more of a star. It ranged from my newfound popularity, to the most intimate moments. Well, when my parents found this "book", they were mortified, cal...

I think it is time that I break down! I do not think that I have another moment left in me to be able to put on this bullshit front anymore! So much for things becoming brighter, a little easier, or even remotly close to the way things should be. I recieved a call from the man that was going to rent me the place today. He informed me that becouse it will take 6 weeks for the PRC (will explain this later) he is going to give me the check he does have from me back and he is going to rent ...

I GOT A HOME!!!!!!!!!! I signed the papers for a rental lease on Saturday and when I come up with all of the money I can get the key. Yes there is going to be a hard way to go to figure out where the money is going to come from to get in, get everything out of storage and there and get the utlilities taken care of...but....WE GOT A HOME!!!!!!!!! YIPPPEEEEE!!!!! YAAHOOOOO!!!!! FANFREAKINTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!! HALLALULIA!!!!!!!!!! I want to stand on a mountain top and scream....I DID IT. ...

I am an entity of nothingness. I am everything I am. I am a light. I am darkness. I am a shell containing all the ingredients needed to survive. I am a survivor. I am a failure. I can teach. I can learn. I know nothing. I know everything I need to know. I have hope. I give hope.. I have lost faith. I need faith. I am strong. I am weak. I have given life. I have maintained life. I have twisted my life up. I have relinqueshed all hope that I will become any better at a...

Well, we are all moved in. Still unpacking and decorating & all the fun stuff. I am finaly enjoying every minute of being in our own home. I still have all those annoying little details of life knawing at me, but, something has triggered an inner peace again that has been long in coming. I am still thrieving for those personal charecteristics that I need back, but those will come in time. As for the meantime, forget complaining, worrying, doubting, shame, anger, blah, blah blah...I have acco...